In our culture, sexuality has become equated with our identity in ways like never before. When a Christian begins to experience same-sex attraction, that person often endures overwhelming confusion and pain due to a sense of being internally divided against oneself. He or she believes that what Scripture says is true, but the feelings surface in spite of fervent prayer that the Lord take these feelings away. Many Christians who experience same-sex attraction make no attempt to act on these feelings, but they believe that the feelings themselves are sinful and prohibit them from having a relationship with God. Other Christians, believing the feelings are unavoidable, act on them. Regardless of which category someone finds themselves in, no one "chooses to feel attracted" to someone of the same sex, but they do choose how they will respond in thought and/or action when they experience these feelings.
It is vital that a person distinguishes between being drawn to beauty in a person versus having romantic desires toward them. Someone who is attracted to a person of the same sex is not necessarily sinning, but one who lusts, fantasizes, or acts out in sexual ways is venturing down a sinful path. "But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin; and sin when it is full grown brings forth death." (James 1:14-15, ESV)
However you arrived at these feelings, our desire is to help you learn to deal with them in a Christ-like manner. We strive to support you as you wrestle with these issues and develop an ongoing relationship with the Lord. As Christians, we often use 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 to provide Biblical support of our argument that homosexuality is a sin. Sadly, we focus too often on the sin of homosexuality mentioned in these verses - almost to the exclusion of the other sins that are referenced. When someone comes to Christ, we are willing (as we should be, since sanctification is a process in a believer's life) to give him or her long periods of time to work on letting go of greediness or gossip, yet we often expect instantaneous, 100% perfection regarding homosexuality. Our counselors see acting upon homosexual desires as sin that is no worse or better than any other sin that needs to be confessed and forsaken.
Because of this belief, we want you to know that, if you are struggling with same-sex attraction, CU Counseling Services offers individual, confidential counseling. We recognize the importance of having someone in whom you can trust so that you can share openly and honestly. For those who would benefit from the support and accountability that a group would offer, we refer students to a group that meets off campus but is located in the immediate area. This group is led by competent Christian counselors who have years of experience helping men and women find victory in this area of their lives.
Website Resources
Books/Articles
Haley, Mike. (2004). 101 Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality. Eugene, OR:
Harvest House Publishers. Answers from a former homosexual for those who struggle personally, know someone who does, or who are simply concerned about this controversial issue.
Mark Yarhouse and Lori Burkett. (2003). Sexual Identity: A Guide to Living in the Time Between the Times. Lanham, MD: University Press of America. A practical resource for individuals struggling with unwanted, distressing, same-sex attractions. Brings into focus recent research and how that applies to sexual identity.
Dallas, Joe. (1991) Desires in Conflict: Hope for Men Who Struggle with Sexual Identity. Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers. You won’t find any quick fixes in this book. What you will find is effective help for restoring sexual wholeness and moving ahead in your Christian life.
Joe Dallas and Nancy Heche (2010) A Complete Christian Guide to Understanding Homosexuality: a handbook for helping those who struggle with same sex attraction. A well-researched and highly readable guide to answering difficult questions about same sex attraction. Written by experts on homosexuality who also have the necessary the compassionate touch of Christ to their research.
Paulk, Anne. (2003). Restoring sexual identity: personal experience to bring Hope for women who struggle with same-sex attraction. Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers. Offers answers to the difficult and often wrenching questions asked both by women desiring change and by friends and relatives of women struggling with same-sex attraction.
Dallas, Joe (2003). The Game Plan: The Men's 30-Day Strategy for Attaining Sexual Integrity. Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers. A systematic and practical plan of action for anyone struggling with maintaining sexual integrity in their lives.
Dallas, Joe (2007). The Gay Gospel?: How Pro-Gay Advocates Misread the Bible. Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers. Offers a crucial balance between conviction and compassion and a practical guide to communicating with those who have embraced the pro-gay theology.